Two weeks eh?  How time flies when your having fun.  Or not fun as the case may be, all told work is starting to piss me off a little.  Nothin major, just the usual crap I get for working for Wal-Mart.  Honestly it should come as no suppurise that a company that damn big can't take care of all its employees, but even a LITTLE recognition for my skills would be appreciated.   As it stands now about all they trust me to do is just stock shelves. 

Yeah thats it, nothing else, just fill the shelves with product.  It really kinda sucks how in this time when we are so severely short handed in terms of people, I don't even get entrusted with more responsibilities, yet people who have worked in the area less time then me get tons and tons more. 

All told it occurs to me that I don't kiss enough ass.  Sucks to be me then, I don't kiss ass, I'm just not really built to do it.  Kinda like how I hate lying cause I suck at it.  Also how I as a general rule hate talking smack about people behind their backs,  Cest la 'vie I suppose.

Certainly seems to fly by sometimes.

Time that is, One can assume that you read the title of this post.  I turn 26 on Friday, and honestly sometimes it doesn't always feel like it.  Then again some mornings I get out of bed and the ole knees just scream in protest.  Those are the times  feel my age... Sadly they aren't the only times.

I suppose its common for people to look at celebrities who were once child stars... now grown up.  Seeing the Olsen twins still creeps the hell out of me, I used to watch Full House back in the day.

That however is a boring topic, I have the Discovery channel running in the background and I have to wonder about people sometimes.  This time it is because of a person scuba diving with their cat, who itself seems to be wearing a custom made diving suit.  That cat, CANNOT be happy about that, as anyone who has ever tried to bathe a cat can attest to.  I myself am more of a dog man, were I to choose a pet.   Probably nothing too big, but not too small either.

Still I don't think I am at a point right now that I would be comfortable with a pet, but one day in the future mayhaps.

*sighs* just random rambles, don't mind me.

Amazing isn't it how time seems to fly so fast when your not blogging.... it hardly feels like its been four days since I last posted on here, but I suppose it has.  I guess the real question is what to talk about....

I suppose this will do:

    Role Playing is a past time that is one that I hold dear to my heart.  I first got started on the grand past time when I was.... I think 13.  Now back at that age I was something of a social outcast, still am for the most part.

     At the time I didn't really have much of what most people would call "friends", the closest being someone who usually made me watch him play whatever video game was of interest to him at the time... had I wanted to play it, five minutes later it was "This is boring, lets do what I want to do".... often times that meant that he wanted to play something he could beat me at.  Some friend eh?

    One can guess this is why I whole heartedly embraced online Role-play chats.  I fondly remember my first one.... the "Star Wars vs. Star Trek Chat room on the Wildman Website"  Much fun was had within those digital walls.... Star Destroyers, Federation ships Duking it out.... Storm troopers vs. Red Shirts... much fun... Much fun indeed, However the best things never seem to last, and eventually that chat folded, so I, along with many other vs. vets moved over to the Cantina.  ((odd how my spell check doesn't recognize that ))

Many a fun year has been spent there... quite the contradiction in terms, considering that seems to have become the new vs. chat... thanks to our local "Route of Ages" pretty much anything is allowed...  Set mainly in the Mos Eisley Cantina (the Tina for short)  We experience anything from the resident Star Wars... to a noticeable (thanks to our local Trekkie King Zon) Federation presence... Vampires of several sorts, Hunters of such undead, be they Buffyesqe slayers, or whoever decides to play Blade these days... Zombies, Peacekeepers (of Farscape Fame) Cylons, Wraith, and various other player created factions. 

Sound insane? yeah it is. Sound stupid? won't deny that either, but then again... I have killed much time there, sometimes I ponder leaving, as many of us do, only very rarely do one of us succeed.  One of the main reasons I think about leaving is... frankly I have a real life... as pathetic as it is, I have one.  This means that I am not always around to keep up with whatever angst a certain player is experiencing at the moment *shifty eyes* or whatever plot line is central to the majority of the characters actions. 

To put it one way I have something of a recurring joke... a demon named VERXOG THE DESTRUCTOR, is sitting in the lobby waiting for his turn at the apocolypse holding ticket number.... hell I can't recall his ticket number, suffice to say its well above 900,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and the "Now Serving" counter seems to be at around 92.... so yeah he's gonna be there a while... and should his turn ever be reached, the good guys will prolly defeat him in about 15.3225 seconds,

I have had good times in this place.... as well as bad times.  I suppose thats what I get for playing along with such an enviroment for so long,  I would like some friends I can talk to in the real world, even if they are the social outcasts of society... Sadly as far as  I can tell even most of the local D&D crowds shun me.

Thats kinda sad really.............

I'm tired of being a doormat.

Quite simply put, but I feel its a major change for me.  If I have one failing it would definitely be my lack of an ability to stand up for myself.  Honestly this has a large part to do with what I had posted about yesterday... I am not sure what kind of details I feel comfortable in going into with that, but simply put, it was the best and worst relationship I have been in in my 25 years alive.  It's kind of sad to admit that really.

I suppose I can ask a question, weather or not it gets a response is really dependent on how many people decide to read the angsty rantings of a 20 something.

The Setting:

A chatroom based Role Play game

The Characters:

Lets call em Dick and Jane, yeah lack of better terms, but hey.

Dick and Jane have never met in person, only talked to each other through this RP chat... through this situation both have become emotionally close to one another, both In character, and Out of character.  One day, Dick sees one of Jane's characters behaving in an identical fashion to one of Bill's characters.  Same mannerisms, same smiles, seemingly the same feelings.

Dick is hurt by this, he really likes Jane, so he tells her that "Jane your RPing in such a manner with Bill makes me feel uncomfortable, almost like you are cheating on me"

Is Jane justified in exploding in anger at Dick.. to the point where their relationship is forever ruined?

Or did Dick just get..... well for lack of a better term Dicked?


Gyaaah... that was probably more details than I wanted to go into, but its already out here so I may as well just leave it... I can say this much, I really enjoyed chat room RPing before that incident, now... I find it hard to do, not without bringing up painful memories of the past.  Then again she never really listened to me anyways, at the time it was my experience that letting characters have kids made for bad RP, buuuuut the day after I told her that... that we should not go down that path, guess what???

Yep thats right.... "Bill" helped her announce the joyous news...

Funny thing, I think "Bill" hates me these days because he blames me for what happened.

Feelings fuckin mutual bitch.

I suppose its been a while since I posted something... I really should more often. 

Sometimes I wonder if maybe my life is on hold until I resolve some problem from my past.  I suppose its thanks to an evening of feeling philisophical, or maybe its just the mood I'm in.  I suppose really that its not all that right for me to talk about it here.  It would kinda go against a policy of mine.  That being "A True friend stabs you in the front"

Odd phrase I know as "why would a friend stab you anyways?"  but its meaning is not quite that literal, or maybe it is depending on the circumstance, ((but said circumstance is kinda rare)).  No its real meaning is that the truest friend is one who will talk about your faults to your face, to help you recognize those faults and hope to change them.  This is opposed to a "False Friend" who merely goes around while you are not around and talks about you behind your back. 

I suppose it means that to solve this problem I have to face this person directly.  I cannot however in any way I see.... do this without alienating several more people I consider friends as well... it may be possible, but 25 years of life has shown me that the optimistic outlook on life rarely works the way one wants it to.

I may have to take this up with one of my truer friends.... see what she thinks of it all.

I feel sorry for one of the walls in my room where I keep my Laptop and TV... Said wall has a dart board on it, one of those nice high quality Pubmaster Dart boards made of super tightly packed fibers.  The kind that work great with metal tipped darts... you know the ones, right?

One slight problem...

I SUCK at darts, as such there are several dozen little holes in the wall around the dartboard.  On a good day I can get all three on the dartboard, not always within the scoring section, but all on the dart board.  Now I suppose I can get all Emo and say that "Oh I RARELY have good days!!!" *insert obligatory offensive joke here* Or not... Often times I may only get one satisfying thump of a metal tip sinking into the fiberous board... the other two are the much louder, far less satisfying THUNK of the darts imbedding themselves in the wood paneling.

This of course is the root of the problem... the wall is paneled, not just painted drywall, this means its kinda hard to fix.... then again maybe Im just too lazy to move it to a wall that is easier to fix.

I seem to have the problem of lazyness a lot.

I suppose I should at least post a first entry here... I'm not even sure what to say.  I guess I could always talk about why my autofill amuses me, but then thats probably a boring topic that no one wants to hear about.  Then again I am sure there are blogs out there about the corns on peoples feet, so I guess I shouldn't complain.

Honestly though my  autofill does amuse me some days, Often times I find that the stuff I want to say, I have said before... saves on typing I guess.  Then again several people have told me that merely means that I need to find something else to say.  Also possible but hey.